chelgopoo

 its funny b.c. i did exactly what i said i wasn't gunna do. fml.

 today is a beautiful day :)

being on long island always puts a lot in the right perspective for me.

 my travels to san francisco are indescribable...therefore there is no reason for me to describe it in fulll i'll just state that after my visit i have decided i am going to move there after graduation in may also i have many pictures i'll post some :) there are many books i want to read...

dharma bums
cannery row
revolutionary road
the rest of the true blood books...
the curious case of benjimin button
and some others i cannot remember right now

i'm watching the real world brooklyn and i can feel my brain cells dieing as we speak...

 
from top left to right...seale, myself, erica, kristen, and michelle...
a random night in huntington... <3

marjiuana changed us too, but i wasn't destructive. dope in the sixties- a very different drug from the skunk kids smoke tday- was about peace, love, andincreasing awareness. it was the basis of flower power; it was innocent- pattie boyd

yesterday pattie visited me and i decided to have a holiday party, which was a great time. conor did not come, i'm afraid he may be upset with me, but i don't want to give him the wrong idea and txt him.

last night was the first time the buds all hung together since we've been home. back in the day, the minute we were home we would all meet up, these days it just isn't the same...the eight of us have so many different obligations and it has become increasingly difficult for us to be in one spot at the same time. but we pulled it together last night and it was like we were never apart just like the good ol' days. i'm beinning to accept the fact that we will not always be able to be together all the time smoking joints and drinking obscene amounts, i will always be so grateful for the memories we've made while we are young and able to get away with the shit we get away with now. as time goes on the buds time together will dwindle but i know that the majority of us will remain friends, at least i hope/pray so.

i've been having trouble focusing for awhile now, its beginning to affect me. i want to learn to focus on life and commit to something. i want to commit to something and i want to change the world. i've decided in order for me to do this i have to join the peace corps. i've been very apprehensive about it but i was reading the website today and just reading about it felt right. it felt like it was something i need to do. i know i will miss my family and my friends but its something i need to do inorder for me to grow up and move on with life after graduating in may. so my plan is to graduate in may move back in with my parents apply for the peace corps and get a job until i leave. i need this, like i needed italy.

Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth ☮

why must i pine for a boy that has a girlfriend? why can't i be interested in the boy that is taking me out to dinner very shortly?? why did i tell him i would go to dinner with him?? why is my life always a bunch of whys? what exactly am i searching for?

i'm reading 'wonderful tonight' the book about pattie boydes life and all i want is to marry george harrison and go to barbados for my honeymoon and travel to exotic places like tahiti and and india and be enlightened by a spiritual teacher and have awesome hippie clothes...one day it will happen for me :)

rip george

She loves yah..yah....yah ;)

I've been messy a lot lately...I stayed up on adderol for 3 days, and than I started seeing things which was definatly not okay but I got what I needed to get done...done which was amazing, because I really didn't think I was going to be able to pull it off...I'm awesome.

anyway, yesterday was the last day of classes, sweet last fall semester ever! i feel so old. there is a lot of sorority drama lately as well, now you see, when I first decided to pledge my sorority I did so because I could tell these girls were somewhat dramaless, but this semester that has seem to taken a wicked turn, and I'm upset. Something needs to be done and we've been discussing changes and we are making moves and i really think that next semester will go much better...last night i got real fucked up to celebrate "reading day" haha...it was 3.5 girls ( say this because brun didn't drink that much), 2 bottles of champange, 1 giant jug of wine, a case of beer, and 3 blunts...sweet life. haha we had a great time, played with sparklers danced to lil wayne, ate a lot of food and had a great f'in time, perfect way to celebrate reading day :)

i can and i cannot wait to go home. i can wait because i'm dreading seein conor and bein awkward around him...i'm excited because i get to be home in my bed with my family/friends, and because i'm going to san fran :) woohoo!!!

<3 my heart...i love him :)

My dream was too sweet :/

okay he wiped his boogers on me...i think its safe to say it's done lol.

i've been wishing for a lot things lately....i don't want to wish any more i want things to happen...i need work harder on living in the now....and thats alll i have to say 

 i have this very strong feeling i'm going to fail bio. i'm going to try my hardest not too but I'm very lost. today was a very stressful day, but it kept my mind off of certain things. but then in night class i go stuck in thoughts about boy i didn't want to be in so hard to get out, i over analyze...i think it's because of my major...and possibly the pot. pledging wen well tonight when all was said and done. but there was a lotta drama before hand i took care of it, but i freaked a little...oh bb read all my txt messages mad awkward.

i miss my friends so much. i love being here but certain things only the girls can understand.

 i did school work today :) and i got a sick parking spot...haha it's the little things in life.
now i'm just waiting for carn to get the fuck off the phone so i could go to bed. my little loves to tell me when she sees him...sometimes it makes me upset...she is so dumb.